Gorilla Greg

Basic Information

• Name: Gorilla Greg
• Team: New York Climbers
• Position/Role: Lead Climber, Urban Legend
• Nickname(s): The Scaffolding Swinger, Empire Poet

Impression

Gorilla Greg is the sort of character who projects an aura of enthusiastic defiance against all things mundane. His presence is both exhilarating and slightly exhausting—watching him is like watching a child who has just discovered sugar and heights at the same time. When Greg is around, you can feel the city itself tugging at the seams, daring everyone else to look up and wonder, if only for a moment, why on earth they aren't up there with him.

Physical Description

• Height: Approximately 6'3", though no one has ever managed to measure him while he’s standing still.
• Weight: Heavy enough that if he ever falls, you’ll know—but nimble enough that he never does.
• Distinctive Features & Attire: Greg’s physical form is that of a man who decided evolution wasn’t going fast enough and took matters into his own hands. His broad shoulders and muscled arms look like they belong on some industrial crane, while his hands are perpetually covered in a film of chalk and grime—the badges of a skyscraper's embrace. His construction jumpsuit, an eternal work-in-progress of patchwork, doodles, and stains, bears the marks of every ledge and ledger he's hung from, each stain and scuff telling a different story. His hard hat is festooned with an assortment of fading stickers, each one commemorating some notable climb—some stickers from buildings that existed only in Greg’s imagination. Add to that his tattoo of a Manhattan skyline that dreams bigger than reality, and his kazoo-equipped utility belt, and you’ve got the full picture: Greg is the embodiment of an urban myth with a flair for accessorizing.

Personality

• Motivation: Greg is propelled by the desire to be as close to the sky as humanly possible—preferably upside-down, hanging by one hand, with the entire city unfolding beneath him. For him, every ledge is a question and every rooftop is an answer. He’s looking for the space between earth and sky where the two meet and dance, and he intends to be there, kazoo in hand, when it happens.
• Quirks: Greg is convinced that talking to inanimate objects is a crucial part of their continued structural integrity, which explains why he has been seen having a stern conversation with a wobbly fire escape. He often writes poetry mid-climb, sometimes directly onto the buildings, which ranges from profound to complete gibberish, though he’s sure the pigeons appreciate it. He never takes off his hard hat—it’s his personal charm against “sky malfunctions,” and his friends have long since stopped questioning his insistence on the matter.
• Likes/Dislikes: He likes anything that allows him to climb—fire escapes, scaffolding, drainpipes. He also enjoys sunsets viewed from precarious ledges and pigeons that choose to fly. On the other hand, he despises elevators, which he believes offer “unnatural vertical cheating,” and flat surfaces, which he finds woefully uninspiring. He also has a vendetta against pigeons that choose to walk instead of fly, considering them “gravity traitors.”
• Fears: Greg has a deeply held fear of escalators, which he believes are deceitful and lazy. He’s also terrified of the concept of stillness—being idle for too long makes him twitchy, like a bird that’s forgotten how to fly. Lastly, he’s convinced that one day, the sky will fall—bit by bit, as if it’s giving up on us one patch at a time—and that’s precisely why his hard hat stays on.

Backstory

Gorilla Greg didn’t decide to become a legend. He simply started climbing things that were never meant to be climbed, and the legend decided to attach itself to him. Greg used to be a regular construction worker, if you consider hanging off beams 60 stories high while eating a sandwich “regular.” He found the allure of heights irresistible, but it wasn’t until one fateful rooftop picnic (attended by Greg, a thermos of tea, and a curious pigeon) that he felt an unignorable pull. The skyline whispered to him, and without really thinking about it, Greg found himself halfway up the Empire State Building. He was reciting poetry to the clouds before he even realized he’d left the ground.

By the time he got back down, word had spread. Some called him a madman, others an artist, but to Greg, he was simply a climber. The New York Climbers spotted his potential—or perhaps they were just amused by the fact that he thought scaffolding was for swinging, not standing. He joined them, and from then on, he became an urban legend—a man whose spirit could never be tethered to the ground.

Abilities & Skills

• Signature Moves:
  • The Empire Swing: Greg’s favorite maneuver, involving a long, graceful swing from scaffolding, occasionally punctuated by a mid-air kazoo solo. It’s as much art as it is athleticism, and if onlookers gasp, Greg considers it a bonus.
  • The Upside-Down Recital: Greg’s poetic interludes are never more poignant than when he’s dangling upside-down from a building, muttering lines about the existential state of bricks or the wistful dreams of pigeons. He claims it’s the best way to get his creative juices flowing—though those on the ground are less sure.
  • Wall Scramble: Where others might carefully plan their ascent, Greg prefers to “scramble,” grabbing onto whatever seems to be sticking out far enough to support him. This chaotic climb is an art form in itself, full of last-second shifts and surprise leaps.
• Special Abilities:
  • Steel Grip: Greg’s grip strength is almost mythical—he could probably bend steel bars if he wasn’t so busy climbing them. His hands, hardened by years of dangling, seem to laugh in the face of gravity.
  • Scaffold Sense: He has an uncanny ability to tell whether scaffolding will hold or collapse with just a glance. He always chooses correctly, though no one knows if it’s intuition or just sheer luck.
  • No Fear of Heights: Greg’s love for heights borders on disdain for anything remotely horizontal. Up is his natural direction, and the higher he climbs, the more at peace he seems.
• Weaknesses:
  • Escalators: He fears them. They’re like moving stairs, but without the satisfaction of effort. He calls them “the devil’s compromise” and avoids them at all costs.
  • Weather (specifically pigeons in the rain): Greg is unbothered by storms, but add rain-soaked pigeons to the mix and things get unpredictable. They become erratic and bothersome, often making his climbs a perilous game of dodge-the-dive-bombing-pigeon.

Equipment

Greg’s Custom Climbing Shoes shoes are as much a part of him as his hands. One is sleek and modern, the other a worn relic held together by willpower and duct tape—he insists they keep him balanced, both physically and metaphorically. The Gorilla Grappler, a curious hybrid of grappling hook and extendable claw, is Greg’s own unpredictable invention—sometimes it catches a building ledge, sometimes a pigeon, but always adds entertainment. Poet’s Chalk is a vital part of his climbing ritual; Greg never climbs without it, scribbling his thoughts, triumphs, and musings across the cityscape. They rarely make sense, but Greg’s never been one to worry about making sense—he’s too busy making his mark.