Harlequin

Basic Information

• Name: Harlequin (Real name lost to the archives of Derry or under a sofa somewhere)
• Team: Derry Ballooons [sic]
• Position/Role: Team Captain, Floating Disruptor
• Nickname(s): The Grinning Menace

Impression

Harlequin projects the kind of presence that makes you question whether you’re awake or stuck in some overly whimsical dream. He has an aura of chaos that leaves everyone unsure if he’s about to solve a problem or create one. He thrives on the disorientation of others, radiating the energy of a man who’s always just a few thoughts away from turning everything upside down—sometimes quite literally. His laughter echoes with a mischievous reverberation, a sound that seems to come not only from him but from the very concept of absurdity itself.

Physical Description

• Height: 6'2", though he mysteriously shrinks to 5'4" during thunderstorms or on Thursdays—don’t ask why; neither gravity nor reason seem involved.
• Weight: Light as a feather, yet when he stomps, minor tremors are known to flip tables over in the distance, much to his apparent delight.
• Distinctive Features & Attire: Harlequin’s grin could outshine a Cheshire cat on a good day, with eyes that glisten like the idea of mischief was made tangible. His hair is an ever-shifting kaleidoscope of colors, a bit like someone bottled a rainbow and forgot to put a lid on. His suit defies consistency, being half stripes, half polka dots, and occasionally peppered with plaid, as if he got dressed by walking through a malfunctioning tailor shop. His tie floats as though possessed, and his shoes—impeccably polished—seem to click rhythmically, as if tapping along to an invisible tune, except when he’s floating, which seems to be more often than not.

Personality

• Motivation: Harlequin’s ultimate aspiration is to become the crowned monarch of absurdity, the one who turns the Offbeat League into a playground of whimsy and bewilderment. Victory is only interesting if it’s puzzling and a little bit surreal; his true passion lies in bending reality’s rules to the point where even the universe itself is left scratching its metaphorical head.
• Quirks: Harlequin has an ongoing dialogue with his folding chair, affectionately called "Chairsley," which, frankly, seems to have opinions of its own. He never moves in straight lines, preferring instead to drift sideways or loop in erratic spirals, leaving opponents, teammates, and occasionally small animals utterly bewildered. He’s also known for changing the game rules on the fly, usually by cryptically declaring new conditions mid-match, leaving everyone to figure out if he’s serious (he always is). To him, any strategic discussion is incomplete unless first performed in mime, and he refuses to acknowledge gravity every Monday as his own personal rebellion against the laws of physics.
• Likes/Dislikes: Harlequin loves balloons with a mind of their own, puns that make people groan deeply, and mismatched socks—preferably one striped, one with spots. He takes great pleasure in watching opponents stumble in confusion after his sideways moves, finding immense joy in the chaos and befuddlement he causes. On the other hand, he dislikes rules that are hard to break and conversations devoid of hidden meanings. Socks that don’t argue with each other (i.e., match perfectly) irk him to no end, as does anyone who takes the game too seriously—after all, they’re in the Offbeat League, not a court of law!
• Fears: Harlequin is terrified of perfect symmetry, which makes him itch in places he can’t quite reach. Round tables unsettle him, as he claims they have "agendas." But clocks are his biggest fear—he’s convinced they are plotting to trap him in punctuality, which is the last thing he wants.

Backstory

Once upon a spreadsheet, Harlequin was a promising yet deeply bored accountant in Derry. His days were filled with ledgers and decimal points until one fateful afternoon when he accidentally wore a polka-dotted sock as a tie (or so he says). That moment opened a door—or rather, threw it off its hinges—to a world far more colorful and ridiculous. He wandered into a carnival, where a troupe of clowns appeared to defy gravity and reason, but in truth, it was Harlequin's mind that had been opened wide. That's what he saw, and so that’s what he was going to do. Enchanted, Harlequin threw himself into their peculiar world, learning to juggle flaming torches and the very concept of sanity. He eventually stumbled upon the Offbeat League, a place where absurdity wasn’t just welcome—it was mandatory. Here, he lost his real name in a particularly vigorous game of charades, and he’s been Harlequin ever since, drifting through the League in a sideways blur of confusion and color.

Abilities & Skills

• Signature Moves:
  • The Sideways Drift: Harlequin floats sideways rather than running forward, leaving defenders flailing as they try to predict his erratic trajectory.
  • The Cheshire Grin Gambit: His smile—a complex mix of whimsy and mild menace—has been known to freeze opponents in place, confused and questioning their very existence.
  • Rule Rewrite: Harlequin whips out an oversized quill mid-game and pretends to scribble in the air. Moments later, everyone finds the rules have mysteriously changed—sometimes players must move in reverse at double speed while blindfolded, or everyone has to speak in rhyming limericks while balancing a teacup full of glitter on their head, or even navigate the field while riding an invisible unicycle and humming the national anthem of a country that doesn’t exist.
• Special Abilities:
  • Gravity Denial: On specific days, Harlequin denies gravity altogether, floating serenely above the field and leaving opponents bewildered.
  • Mind-Bending Banter: His riddles and verbal nonsense can leave opponents second-guessing reality, often forgetting what they were supposed to do next.
  • Teleporting Chair: "Chairsley," his sentient folding chair, appears at the most unexpected moments—providing Harlequin with an impromptu perch, tripping an opponent, or generally adding to the chaos.
• Weaknesses:
  • Symmetry Phobia: Perfect symmetry throws Harlequin off entirely, disrupting his sense of fun and sending him into an existential crisis.
  • Overcomplication: His love for absurdity sometimes leads him to create situations so confusing that even he struggles to understand what’s happening.
  • Literal Clocks: Ticking clocks make Harlequin anxious, as if they’re silently conspiring against his freedom.

Equipment

Harlequin's equipment is as eccentric as he is. There's Chairsley, the teleporting folding chair, always ready to provide seating or mischief at the most unexpected moments. He also wields The Rule Rewriter Quill, an oversized feather that he uses to scribble in midair, effectively rewriting the rules of the game on the spot and bringing delightful chaos. Finally, he carries a Pocketful of Confetti at all times—ideal for moments that call for celebration, confusion, or a sudden, magical disappearance.