Letting the Tide Carry You: Preparing for the Berlin Showdown

Well, dear Offbeats, it seems we have quite the journey to discuss today. With an upcoming bout against the Berlin Wall BreakDancers, the Atlanta Nordic Walkers have traded their usual long-distance treks by foot for a flight across the Atlantic. I sat down with our own league psychologist—or should I say phycologist?—Kelp Youngweed, to unravel the tangled thought-strings of our Nordic Walkers, who, let us remind ourselves, are more accustomed to pounding the pavement than sitting on an airborne metal tube hurtling at incredible speed through the stratosphere. Kelp, my curious readers want to know, how is this long-distance travel by plane—as opposed to their habitual walking—likely to affect our fine walkers?

"Ah, Eloise, it’s a splendid question, and much like seaweed in a tidal pool, the answer drifts in a few directions. The Nordic Walkers, for all their stoic energy, are fundamentally beings of routine—marching, poles forward, step by step, perpetually grounded. Now you uproot that, place them in an environment where they’re suddenly 30,000 feet in the air, without their beloved terra firma beneath their feet... well, they’re going to feel a bit, shall we say, unmoored. Imagine algae being plucked from its rock and plopped into an aquarium—similar situation, really. There might be a sense of disorientation, a tendency to drift in unexpected ways."

Disorientation indeed! And what might they do to combat this unfamiliar floating sensation? I suppose carrying on with their usual warmups, involving vast amounts of walking, is off the table while aboard.

"Exactly. It’s about finding new anchors. My advice? They need to embrace this experience as a new type of movement. Where they’re used to forward propulsion, they must now find joy in floating—mental floating, if not physical. Mindfulness exercises could be key here. I’ve given them a tool I call the 'Kelp Float Visualization',  which involves mentally picturing themselves as seaweed, gently drifting on the tide, accepting the currents, and focusing on rhythmic breathing. With any luck, it’ll help them acclimate to the sensation of not being in control of their trajectory. A useful skill, I’d say, both in the air and, indeed, when confronted by the BreakDancers on a brick-laden rink!"

Zombie Number 228 mentioned he'd be warming up with a Berlin Marathon upon arrival. That seems ambitious, doesn't it? Is that really the best approach for him, Kelp?

"Ambitious, yes, and perhaps exactly what one would expect from Zombie Number 228. He’s the embodiment of relentless forward movement, after all. But, I’d say it’s a double-edged sword. On one hand, it keeps him in his element—moving, pushing boundaries, and not thinking too much about the strangeness of the journey. On the other hand, he risks exhausting himself before the main event. You see, my work often involves helping players find a balance between exertion and mental rejuvenation. If I were to advise him, I'd suggest incorporating 'algal pauses'—brief moments to let his mind drift, like seaweed resting in a calm tide. These 'mental recovery sprints' can recharge both mind and body, ensuring he arrives at the game feeling invigorated rather than completely spent. It's about learning to flow with the currents, not just fight them."

Algal pauses, you say? How do those differ from the Kelp Float Visualization you mentioned earlier? Are they just different names for the same drifting concept, or is there something more to it?

"Great question, Eloise! While both techniques revolve around embracing the idea of drifting, they serve slightly different purposes. The 'Kelp Float Visualization' is more about long, immersive relaxation—it's a deep dive, if you will, where the player visualizes themselves as seaweed, completely in tune with the flow of the ocean, letting go of control and finding peace in the unpredictability. It's best for those moments when the mind needs a true escape, a full reset. 'Algal pauses,' on the other hand, are more like quick mental resets—a short, refreshing breather. Think of them as the equivalent of a quick breath of fresh air. They’re used during moments of stress or high exertion to prevent mental fatigue, allowing the mind to briefly float and reset before diving back into the action. So, while the Kelp Float is a deep and calming visualization, algal pauses are about brief but effective mental recharge moments, keeping the mind agile and ready for whatever's next."

Like snack breaks for the mind—I’m sure we’ll all be attempting to float a bit more serenely after that. But while we’re on the topic of staying grounded or feeling adrift, let’s turn our attention to the Berlin Wall BreakDancers, who have the so-called 'home advantage' this time. How do you think that affects their mindset, and could it lead to added pressure for our dance-loving locals?

"Oh, absolutely, Eloise. You know, the funny thing about algae is that it thrives in familiar conditions—the right salinity, sunlight, and all that—but it can also become overgrown and stagnate if everything’s too comfortable. The BreakDancers are in a similar position. There’s comfort in dancing on home turf, sure, but with that comes expectations. Expectations to impress, to not be out-walked by a team who have, quite literally, crossed oceans for this game. That kind of pressure can make even the loosest of limbs stiffen up a bit. I’d recommend they take a page from my 'kelp playbook'—stay grounded in their training, but let the movements stay fluid. The BreakDancers need to reconnect with their ability to sway with external pressures—like audience expectations—without being overwhelmed. I'd recommend a technique called 'Tidal Flow Practice,' where they focus on responding to the unpredictable environment around them, like kelp swaying with the tide. This means dancing not against the pressures of home expectations but with them, finding rhythm in the external forces rather than resisting them. By engaging in exercises that mimic these external influences—like unexpected changes in music tempo or impromptu obstacles—they can learn to remain adaptable and fluid. It's about embracing the push and pull, the ebb and flow of the dance floor—or the rink—and turning those forces into something beautiful. After all, the best moves often come when we let go and let the tide carry us."

Wise words as always, Kelp. Let’s hope both teams find a way to navigate—or float—through the challenges ahead, without getting tangled. And for all our Offbeats out there, remember to stay buoyant, whether on foot, in the air, or just muddling through Monday.

Yours in perpetual chaos,

Eloise Inkwell